Cathartic journaling of an adoptive mom.
Latest Posts
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Rooted wisdom. Kind words.
I’m storing in my heart the incredibly kind things Jackie says to me. But my heart is full, so as to not forget, I’ll store some of her quotes here as well. She is about to turn 13, and we talk honestly about everything. She asks questions and shares her heart and listens well. Out…
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how love takes root
I made a decisionTo love my daughterwholly and completelyForever. And so far so good.Love is mysterious.I gave firstAnd served.I waited Love is not just a feelingIt is a decision and knowledgeKnowing someonePatiently and kindlyFuels the fire of feelings I enjoy my daughter’s companyHer mind and her heartShe is determined and willingCapable and extraordinaryStubborn and uniqueAnd…
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Subject du jour
We go through all kinds of topics, and turn right back and go deeper still on some. When we exhaust an idea we move on and don’t look back. Talking with the girls is fun and exhausting and my favorite thing to these days. One thing my parents did was give me general guidelines for…
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Defiance
When the kids were little the girls would ask me for certain things that I usually said yes, and they asked Conrad certain other things that he usually said yes to. I would put them to bed because I would stay longer and answer more questions. He would let them play on the iPad certain…
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Useful conversations
To what degree do we make a sustained effort to engage in useful conversations? Always. Start always with the best intentions. But I personally pay attention to signs and I adapt quickly to the circumstances and move on if I hit a wall. I don’t trust others’ availability to engage if they can’t manage the…
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The book of Ruth
One week in a rustic setting in the mountains, an old cabin with a lot of history, a place where I attended camps as a preteen and then through my teen years. A holy place and a transformative time. Incredible stories, vulnerability, reverence and silence, tears of joy or grief, and relief. And a whole…
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The vacation in between
It’s a hot week. Mom & dad left Europe, and we are waiting for Brian to arrive in Romania for a teen conference. Nearly three decades ago Brian and his team changed my life. And he has been the gift that kept on giving: Through poetry. Stories. Vulnerability. I’m still waiting to settle my memories…
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update on my social media
My Facebook got hacked (though a page I managed) and my birth date was changed. The account was locked because I was now in violation of their terms and conditions, due to age restrictions. I was ok loosing Facebook but the problem is that when Meta acquired WhatsApp, it linked my accounts, and now WhatsApp…
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Reset boundaries
Conrad stepped in, but not before dumping on me his frustration or worries. This is due to the fact that I’ve been playing interference as a parent (as a mom of daughters) for too long. I communicate with the girls, I listen to their concerns and objections, we reach agreements. I do this without much…
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The biggest question
“I want you to give me an honest answer. Don’t say yes just because you are my mom.” I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the emotion and responsibility. I play the devil’s advocate often. Also, inadvertently I use reverse psychology and things turn out just right. “Could this work?” She asks. “We are so…
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First hike in august
With mom and dad we could do only some light hikes. And our feet were already itching for the hills. We get ready with the promise of tired legs at the end, a heart pumping healthily in our chests, sweat running down our backs and a clearer mind. I felt teary driving up to the…
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Rescue
Ivy invites me every evening to reflect on the day and pray with them. When Jackie said she doest feel like praying, my heart aches. She is not grumpy, or moody, or tired. Her mind is elsewhere. And after I call her out on her recurring attitude, she said she doesn’t know how to talk…
